


Can’t Be Around You

by orphan_account



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: A please let cyrus have feelings fic after andi’s choice, Angst, Incredibly angsty, Like really angsty, M/M, Takes place a bit into the future, Unrequited Love, addresses cyrus’s crush on jonah, although im trying to resolve it so they can stay friends, but for the long term emotional health of our boy, going to be part of aseries where cyrus is allowed emotions and a storyli e, in a universe/ series with eventual tyrus, so dont read if you really like jyrus because its not gonna deliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 23:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cyrus snaps— it was bound to happen. He has to distance himself from Jonah, because it hurts to be around him, and he’s so tired of putting everyone else before himself.





	Can’t Be Around You

“Hey, Cy-Guy!” Jonah jogged to catch up with him just outside of The Spoon.

 

“Jonah!”

 

“How are you, dude? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” Cyrus winced, feeling a pang of guilt.

 

“I guess I’ve just been super busy, you know?” He wasn’t avoiding Jonah, per se. . . rather, putting a bit of temporary distance between them. For the health of their friendship, of course.

 

But Jonah made the task very difficult, with his dimples and sunshine smile. “I get it, it’s all docious. I just wanted to ask— you’ll be coming to the Space Otter’s game this weekend, right?”

 

“Actually. . .” Cyrus watched as the smile left Jonah’s eyes.

 

“Come on, Cyrus. You _have_ to come. You’re our MVP, right?” He couldn’t. Of course he wanted to go— he loved being the Space Otters’ Number One Fan— but he _had_ to put his feelings first for _once._ He was resigned.

 

Jonah smiled crookedly. “And don’t you still have that shirt—”

 

“Jonah, I can’t,” He could barely spit the words out. “I’m sorry. I’ll— I’ll see you later. . .” As he turned to leave, he felt Jonah’s hand on his arm, pulling him back.

 

“Did I do something?”

 

“No. . .” The look on Jonah’s face was pitiful. Cyrus dropped his gaze to the ground.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you mad at me? Tell me if I did something—”

 

“ _Jonah._ You didn’t do anything wrong. . . other than be yourself, I guess.” Jonah’s eyebrows drew together in hurt and anger.

 

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

 

“No— I mean, that came out wrong.” He was always a dam of words and emotions he tried desperately to hold— some had slipped, and he wanted to take them back. He just didn’t know how, and he was _so,_ so tired.

 

“Did it? Because it sounded like you—” Jonah’s voice broke— “like you _hate_ me, or something. Like you think there’s something wrong with me?” He grew louder, a coldness seeping into his voice that Cyrus resented.

 

_What gives him the right to be angry? I’m the one who deserves to be angry! I’m the one who’s been suffering this whole time!_

 

“So what was it _supposed_ to mean, Cyrus?”

 

“It means that— that I can’t be around you anymore!” And just like that, his dam burst, and the words only kept pouring out. “It hurts— and _not_ because I hate you. That’s the whole _problem,_ God, I _wish_ I hated you! Then it’d be—easier. . .” _Shit_ . He’d said too much. _Great job ruining everything, Cyrus._

 

“What do you mean. . . that you can’t be around me?” He asked softly. Cyrus took a deep breath. If he had to tell Jonah the truth, he wanted to do it right. He wanted to be able to look him in the eyes.

 

“I like you,” he said, voice steady. “I have for a while.”

 

The hostility in Jonah’s voice was replaced entirely by confusion. “What’s the problem, then? You do know you’re, like, my best friend, right?” Cyrus sighed, exasperated.

 

“I know _._ It’s just hard to be someone’s _best_ friend. . . when you wish you were _more_ than that.” He let the words hang in the air between them.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah,” Cyrus grimaced, shaking his head.

 

“I— I had no idea.”

 

“Of course you had no idea. It’s— it’s messed up! This whole thing is horrible and awful, and I can’t believe you can even stand to look at me right now, and I just _wish_ I wasn’t ruining everything—”

 

“ _Hey_ . It’s not _horrible_ or _awful_. It’s probably not the first time someone’s liked their best friend, right? So we can just. . . move past it.”

 

“It’s not that easy! Trust me, I’ve been _trying_ to move past it. But I’m a human being with human _emotions_ and I can’t just turn them _off_ because you want me to!” And he did try to— ever since the Space Otter’s Party. And then, even more so after the open mic, after Jonah and Andi’s kiss.

 

He pretended he was happy for them. He insisted that he only had a _little_ crush on Jonah, anyway, and it would all be fine. But all that suppression had just soured into a resentment he didn’t want to hold.

 

“I wasn’t asking you to do that.”

 

“I know you weren’t— but you still want me to come to the Space Otters game, right? And you don’t want me to distance myself— even if I‘m telling you I have to.”

 

Jonah fell silent. He turned Cyrus’s words over in his head. Really, all he wanted to do then was reach out and hug his best friend, because this wasn’t all awful and horrible for any the reasons Cyrus thought, but he imagined that was just how it felt. He knew now that doing so would only make things worse, though.

 

“Listen. I’m not Andi— I’m not going to stop talking to you for months. I’m not going to go away completely. I honestly don’t think I’d be able to cope not having you in my life.” He sighed. “But I do need to pull back. A little. Maybe a bit more than that, honestly. Just— _please_ be patient with me, okay? Please, give me some time.”

 

“Okay. I promise. I— I don’t know how _I’d_ be able to cope without _you_.” They shared a sad smile.

 

“I’ll get over you _expertly,_ Jonah Beck.”

 

Cyrus forced himself to turn away, to leave Jonah standing there as he walked home with wet eyes and a heavy heart.

  
  



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